Alumni

Meet Distinguished Graduate Jae Tillman

Despite personal tragedies, Jae persevered to finish his degree.  

by Linda Shrieves

Jae Tillman grew up only a mile from Valencia College’s West Campus – and the college became a beacon for him, even during the most desperate moments in his life.

Not long after his mother died from HIV/AIDS, leaving 9-year-old Jae in the care of his grandmother, he and his younger brother one afternoon walked the mile from their Carver Shores neighborhood to Walmart – and they passed what was then Valencia Community College.

“Most colleges were miles away and we knew that we wouldn’t be able to leave our neighborhood for a college degree,” Jae recalls, because his family rarely ventured far beyond the boundaries of the neighborhood. Jae knew that his little brother, who was born with AIDS, likely wouldn’t live long enough to go to college – and Jae saw Valencia College as his only hope.

“Knowing Valencia was a mile up the street, I decided I would go to college once I graduated from high school, because the idea of college no longer seemed far-fetched and out of reach.”

Today, after many tragedies in his life and several attempts at college, Jae Tillman has graduated from Valencia College – and he has been named Valencia College’s Summer/Fall 2024 Distinguished Graduate.

Jae’s path wasn’t easy. He experienced many moments of despair before he entered the doors at Valencia College – starting with his mother’s death, an event that led to the breakup of his family, as the four brothers were scattered to live with relatives.

Living with his grandmother – and without the daily company of his brothers – then 9-year-old Jae withdrew into his own world, rarely speaking for three years. Diagnosed with autism and borderline personality disorder, Jae was prone to depression and anxiety.

“I was angry,” recalls Jae. “My social cues were all off. I didn’t really want to learn any more. Outwardly, I was just like, I ‘m just going to go to school, do my work and go home. You know, you try to make friends, but you’re just not connecting. I wasn’t able to create bonds. I went from living with my family to living by myself. I didn’t know what to do any more.”

His teachers suggested a crisis counselor, who suggested that Jae’s grandmother send him to a therapist. After he was diagnosed with autism and borderline personality disorder, his grandmother began taking classes to learn how to help Jae – and she eventually became a certified behavior analyst for Orange County schools to help other kids like Jae.

As early as middle school, Jae realized that he would eventually become his younger brother’s caretaker.

“My grandma told me that I had to look out for my brother,” he says. “He lost his father from AIDS when he was 3 and his mother at age 6. He really didn’t have anybody. My grandmother said, ‘Hey, you gotta look out for him.’”

So, Jae did just that. Though he struggled to graduate from high school because he missed so many days of school, his grandmother pushed him to complete all his work in his last weeks of high school. Later, the two of them went to Valencia’s West Campus, where Jae submitted his application and took placement tests.

In the fall of 2011, he enrolled. But after his brother Isaiah’s health began declining, Jae dropped out to take care of Isaiah. For four years, he focused on Isaiah.

But after Isaiah passed away, Jae thought it may be time to return to college. So, he tried to come back to Valencia in 2016, more than a year after Isaiah passed away.

He realized later that he’d tried to return too soon – and that he wasn’t emotionally ready. “My grades were affected… I think I got all Fs and a D. I wasn’t ready,” he recalls. “It was very overwhelming. I didn’t realize how depressed I was. I had to go back to therapy because I was failing mentally.”

Meanwhile, Jae worked a variety of jobs.  He loved numbers but hated dealing with people.

So he took jobs that required little to no interaction with others – working in chat support and tech support, working the overnight shift for FedEx -- “anything with minimal human interaction.”

As he grew older, he also had the sinking feeling that he was running against a clock. No one in his family – with the exception of his grandmother – had lived past age 33. But when his grandmother died in 2022, and he turned 33, he realized that it was time to finish what he’d started.

“Honestly, when my grandma passed away in 2022, I looked around and I had no one to take care of anymore. I couldn’t use that as an excuse,” he says. “And I thought: I don’t have anything that’s going to stop me from giving school my 100 percent attention. I said, I need this. Without this, I have nothing.”

 

Jae Tillman

Even though he’d moved to Boca Raton for a job, Jae reapplied to Valencia College. Because of his previous two academic suspensions from the college, Jae was told this was his final appeal.  Determined to succeed this time, he sought help from every resource – the Office for Students with Disabilities, advisors, the Answer Center. 

He also made the extra effort to get to know his professors, though he was taking all of his classes online because of his anxiety.

 “In one of our one-on-one Zoom sessions, Jae told me his background and his why,” recalls Valencia College math professor Precious Cristwell. “Almost everyone in his family had passed away at a young age… Once he reached his ‘golden age’ of 33, he saw that there was a chance for him to do something with his life. A chance for him to not only be the person that he wanted to be, but to succeed for his family members who didn’t have the chance to live or be successful. His story not only brought me to tears, but it restored my hope, faith and drive to be a professor and help other students who are righting the wrongs of the past.”

In August 2024, Jae graduated from Valencia College – and he’ll soon start taking classes Valencia College’s bachelor’s degree program in business and organizational leadership. Jae’s goal is to establish a nonprofit in his brother’s honor and create an after-school club facility in Orlando where kids from group homes and foster care can play, study and receive a variety of services, from free clothes to tutoring.

As for Valencia College, he remains grateful that the college gave him another chance.

“I just graduated … Isn’t life crazy? I didn’t walk across the stage when I got my diploma in high school. I want to get a cap and gown and walk across the stage and get the full experience that I cheated myself out of when I was younger.”